2014 I am glad you are gone, and will never visit again. Thanks for going. Thanks for the goodness you gave me, through harsh lessons and the occasional warm feeling each time I worked on a project I loved or spoke to my Day Ones.
I spent too much of 2014 in my bedroom, windows closed, eyes and ears wide open to the sounds of other peoples laughter and conversations as they went about their day, living. Tears always elude me, but in this year I knew tears like never before, like a night time ritual. The tension in my throat, the warmth of my tears, the puffiness of my eyes, the blocking of my nose, and the irritation of not having a tissue at hand should forlornness arrive unexpectedly in my bed. What a mess.
December came; it was very silent, I needed and appreciated the peace. Most of the people who live at my complex had all “gone home” left the city and gone back to their hoods, small towns and villages as usually done by black South Africans come the Festive Season. I was not looking forward to my 8hour, 687.6 kilometre trip home, jobless, empty handed, with no good news to tell…
Mihlali and Nhlanhla Mimi and Charlie arrived in Johannesburg on the 17 December, it was a Wednesday. I remember using my last R 40.00 to buy veggies and braai pack so I can feed my beloved guests. I arrived at O.R Tambo International airport to pick up my homies, and they looked beautiful. Packed in their bags, amongst other things, was happiness. These kids brought me so much joy. Nothing else mattered. And for the 1st time in 2014 I hosted the best dinner party ever, good food, good wine and the best company. I laughed, with all my heart and with all my might. This is how it feels to be loved.